How To Handle Chronic Fear And Anxiety

HOW TO HANDLE CHRONIC FEAR AND ANXIETY

What should you do when you encounter fear?

Here are a few suggestions…

ALLOW IT

ways to deal with your fearFear always brings out the fight or flight response.

This is the way our bodies have prepared for action which is a result of millions of years of evolution.

You develop fast reflexes, increased strength, pumping muscles and greater awareness.

It won’t work for you unless you use it and learn how to control it.

You learned how to allow fear by recognizing it, acknowledging it and making room for it in the previous blog post.

Once you allow it, you then need to…

BEFRIEND IT

Fear itself is completely harmless – it can only make you uncomfortable at worse, so let it in.

You might be saying to yourself I don’t like how it feels!

You don’t have to like it, but imagine….

learn to handle your fearsThere is a nasty and mean woman that lives nearby and you get an offer of $10 million to befriend her by her wealthy children.

She often has offensive outbursts and awful hygiene, you don’t actually like her, but the $10 million is attractive!

Are you going to befriend her for the money?

You most probably would.

What if you can use fear to reach your goals, live your values, perform at your highest potential, gain great self-confidence and live a life that is fulfilled and more meaningful?

HOW TO BE WELCOMING TO YOUR FEAR

let go of chronic fear and worryFear doesn’t want to “get you”.

Its purpose is to help you get through difficult situations.

It is alerting you of a potential threat or danger and to prepare your body for action.

You are really on the same team, so there is no need to fight it.

It is a support for you.

Say to yourself, “This is my brain letting me know of the danger. This is my body preparing to meet that danger.”

Fear is your teammate, not your enemy.

BE KIND TO YOUR FEAR

Let it come into your body by using your imagination and place your hand on the part of the body you feel it most strongly and simply “hold it” allowing it to feel the warm soothing effect of your hand.

Talk to it like it was one of your friends. “Hi fear, thanks for dropping by. Have a seat and make yourself comfortable.”

“So you dropped by to get my heart rate up and give my knees a workout? Are you going to add those butterfly feelings to my tummy?”

“Be my guest. Show me what you have in store for me today.”

You shouldn’t do this while performing or doing a test as it will distract you.

However, you can give it a try when you are in bed, at the dinner table or just sitting at your desk.

CHANNEL YOUR FEAR

So you let it in and made it your friend, what is the best way to use it?

Do you feel all the energy you are getting from it?

Do you feel all the adrenaline that is pumping throughout your body? You are ready for action – primed, amped, hyper and revved.

Now ask yourself, “How do I take advantage of this amazing energy? Where should I focus it?”

Remember to use your fear when playing sports or doing a performance.

You might not be able to channel it to an activity if you happen to be on a first date or on a plane, therefore, simply make some space for it and use it to be fully present.

WHAT ABOUT CONFIDENCE?

how can I stop fear?Suppose you are doing a new activity or something challenging like giving a speech.

You can act confident even if you don’t feel confident.

Why is that?

Real self-confidence doesn’t mean there is no fear.

Fear always comes up during challenging circumstances, irrespective of your level of confidence, however, you can use it to make you more energetic and improve your performance – you now have a different relationship with fear.

This will take some time to sink in but when it does you will see a big difference in your daily life.

You might start referring to it as “pumped” or “amped” as opposed to “fear” or “worry” or “anxiety”.

If you don’t have anything to focus your fear on, make a bit of room for it and fully focus on your activity.

GET HELP BEFRIENDING YOUR FEAR

Would you like to find out more about how to welcome fear and ways to channel it?

Contact me TODAY for your FREE clarity session. 206-227-1094

 

 

 

How To Understand And Conquer Your Fears

How To Understand Your Fear
understand fear

Picture this.

You were told that squirrels were the world’s most dangerous animal.

They can tear you to shreds with their razor sharp teeth.

They kill and feed on humans. They can leap over a 2-storey building in a single bound.

Now suppose that belief was absolutely true for you?

Then you are out in the forest enjoying a leisurely walk and you came across a squirrel! What would your reaction be?

Scared to death? Nervous? Overcome with fear?

FEAR IS BAD

This is exactly how fear has been instilled in you from a young age.

understanding our fearsYou likely learned that:

Fear is bad!

Being afraid is a sign of weakness.

Successful and brave people don’t experience fear.

You have to get over it or it will keep you from getting ahead in life.

So fearing our own fear has become normal.

Your anxiety makes you anxious; your nervousness makes you nervous; you are stressed out by your stress.

WHAT IS YOUR RESPONSE TO FEAR?

We generally respond to fear in 2 ways:

  1. Robotic Mode

Your every move is robotically controlled by your emotions.

You scream, yell and lash out when you experience anger.

You run away, hide or withdraw when you feel fear.

You are not aware of what you are doing when you are in robot mode and you are definitely not aligned with your values.

Rather, you allow yourself to be pushed around by your emotions.

The myth that your strong emotions are dangerous is created and for us to act the way we really want, we have to be in control of our feelings.

2.  Avoidance Mode

Fear is an unpleasant feeling most of the time and because of this, we will do anything to avoid it or make it go away.

These are some of the usual ways we get rid of fear…

Distraction

understanding & overcoming fearWe use drinking, eating, drugs, TV, video games, working long hours, cleaning or exercising to keep ourselves distracted from feeling fear.

Opting Out

We keep away from situations that challenge us or make us feel uncomfortable by withdrawing, procrastinating, quitting, avoiding people, events or places that we fear.

Thinking

We think our way out of fear by ignoring our feelings, attempting to have a more positive outlook, being hard on ourselves, blaming other people, trying to solve problems or asking yourself “Why me?” or trying to imagine “What if..”, bringing up the past or attempting to escape by picturing a blissful future.

WHEN AVOIDANCE TURNS INTO AN OBSTACLE

Fear grows and impacts your actions the more you try to avoid it.

For example, the more you try to avoid your feelings, you have less time available to make your life rewarding and meaningful.

There is a financial impact if you shop too much.
Your relationships suffer if you work too much.
Your health could be impacted negatively if you party too hard.

If you avoid fear by trying to keep safe and not take any risks, there are opportunities you miss and you will get stuck in a rut.

You put important things and projects off and problems are never resolved. Your to-do list gets out of control.

understanding fear means defining itIf you think too much, all your efforts are spent in your head and you don’t take action and miss out on life.

You make yourself miserable by beating yourself up.

Relationship problems arise when you blame your partner.

You will be disappointed when positive thinking doesn’t produce the expected results.

Living in the future causes great dissatisfaction with your situation today.

Your fear gets bigger the more you try to get rid of it and the more it negatively impacts your life.

GET BACK ON THE HORSE

how to overcome fearAfter taking a big tumble, most people become fearful and lose their self-confidence. This is why they suggest getting up and trying again to get back your self-confidence.

Your fear gets bigger and bigger the longer you put off getting back on the horse.

This is called “exposure” by Psychologists. You need to stay in contact with your fear until you get accustomed to it with gradual exposure.

This approach is useful when dealing with phobias like heights and snakes.

EMOTIONAL AMPLIFIER

Experiential avoidance is the term used if your fear is a feeling, sensation or emotion.

It is similar to an emotional amplifier: it grabs your fear and amplifies it, making you want to avoid it even more.

What is the solution?

Should you just grin and bear it?

There are more effective ways of dealing with fear other than “tolerating it” or “just putting up with it.”

There is no need to run away or talk yourself out of fear.

There is no need for self-medicating with alcohol, drugs or food.

Don’t “fake it until you believe it.”

Want to find out how to deal with your fear?

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Your Personal Values Will Lead To Your Success

THE SUCCESS TRAP: How Your Personal Values Will Lead You To Success

core values create successSuccess in our society is often defined by money, fame, social status and admiration from doing a respected job, an attractive spouse, expensive car or a big house.

If you are lucky to get these things our society deems you a success.

But if you fall for that perception of success, you will only be leading yourself into being unhappy and miserable.

How come?

If you define success this way, you are setting up a goal-oriented life and you are always aiming for the next goal, be it more money, losing even more weight, greater social status, an even larger house, greater respect etc.

Therefore in order to be successful, you must win the game, close the sale, attract a mate, get a bigger promotion or achieve the degree.

THE TRAPS

Trap #1: You cannot guarantee that you will hit your goals or they might be way in the future.

Trap #2: You don’t get lasting happiness even if you achieve your goals. There is always another goal to hit.

Trap #3: If this is your idea of success, you will forever be burdened with the stress of getting that goal and getting even more goals to keep that successful feeling.

BRITTLE SELF CONFIDENCE

Once you continue reaching your goals, then you will be “a success,” “a champion,” or “a high performer.”

core values for successHowever, if you don’t attain your ultimate goal, then you will be no longer victorious consequently you will be “a failure”, “a loser” or “a has been.”

Your self-worth relies upon your productivity.

That is definitely unstable footing since it is not possible to win every time.

LIVING BY YOUR VALUES

Here is a challenge for you, how about redefining success?

Why not live by your values?

When you do this, life becomes much easier since you are totally controlling how you live by your values and you can decide how to act on them. values for success in life

This is very useful if your goal happens to be well into the future.

You can live a successful life today by living your values; you don’t have to delay success until you reach your goal.

Just live your values.

If you use this definition, a career woman who leaves her career to pursue her values of love, nurturing and caring to stay at home with her children, has more success than a CEO who rakes in millions but isn’t living her values of spending valuable time with her family.

Albert Einstein once said, “Try not to be a man of success, but rather try to become a man of value.”

I DON’T HAVE ENOUGH SUCCESS

The next time that little voice in your head is beating you up for not being successful, reply by saying “Thank you mind!” and then ask…

“What simple action can I perform today that is in keeping with my values?”

Take that action and you have success instantly!

Living according to your values is true success.

PROCESS AND OUTCOME

success valuesHow you do something is a process and the result of what you have done is the outcome.

Therefore to gain real self-confidence and to operate at your optimal potential, totally immerse yourself in the process and let the outcome go.

You are simply shifting your focus, not giving up on your ultimate goal.

Rather than obsessing with the outcome, be more excited with the process so that you can give it everything you have and get the most benefits.

GETTING TO THE TOP

core values will create your successMary and Jane are my two hiking buddies.

Mary is obsessed with achieving goals. She wants to get to the top as quickly as possible. She doesn’t like taking breaks on the hike up and once we get there she only enjoys the view for a moment.

Before too long it is a race back down at top speed.

On the other hand Jane also wants to get to the top; however she is living her values: enjoying the outdoors, challenging herself, getting fit and healthy, connecting and exploring her surroundings. On our hikes, the climb is enjoyable, she takes time to look at the vegetation, the animals, the amazing view and she enjoys the conversations.

If the trail is icy at the top and we didn’t make it to the top, although they are both disappointed, Jane has a better handle on the situation.

She fully enjoys the climb since she is challenging herself, soaking in nature, keeping her body moving and hanging with her friends.

Mary on the other hand is frustrated since our goal of reaching the top was not achieved.

This sums up the difference between living a goal-focused life versus a values-focused life.

Even if you don’t get to your goal immediately, take time to enjoy the process.

BUILDING A LIFE OF PURPOSE

Do you want to begin living a purposeful life? Let’s start by uncovering your values.

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THE SELF ESTEEM TRAP – SELF ESTEEM ISSUES

THE SELF ESTEEM TRAP – SELF ESTEEM ISSUES

self esteem issuesOur culture pushes us to think in terms of success and failure, champions and underachievers, winners and losers.

We hear it again and again from the experts…

“That’s loser thinking”

“Be a winner!”

“This is what winners do!”

If we fall for the story we are perceived as winners or as successes and you feel self confident for a while, but the benefits are short term.

Particularly if you compare and contrast yourself to any “failure,” “loser” or “quitter.”

Will this last very long?

We are constantly comparing ourselves to other people and then little nagging voice calls us a a failure or loser.

WINNER/LOSER MENTALITY

The “fixed mindset” or “fragile self-esteem” is fairly common with athletes and professional who are successful.

You think your talents and skills are your greatest asset.

Achieving your goals make you a winner and you feel self confident.

self esteem and self awarenessBut what happens when you don’t hit your goals or you fail?

All of a sudden you are a “loser”.

Therefore this destructive winner/loser mentality makes us want to achieve out of fear or worse actually becoming a failure or loser.

The result is performance anxiety, chronic stress and burnout.

THE SELF-ESTEEM LIE

It is drilled into us that having high self confidence automatically makes us happier, more successful and even healthier.

If you agree with that statement, then you most likely agree with the following statements:

Your performance will improve once you raise your self confidence.

Those who have high self-confidence are more charming, make better partners and leave a better impression on people.

Great leaders have high self-confidence.

The above issues were actually studied by The American Psychological Association to see if they were true.

What were the results of the study?

All 3 of the above statements were false!

They research showed that high self-esteem is strongly linked to:

● Arrogance, narcissism and egotism.
● Bigotry and prejudice.
● Self-deception and defensiveness once confronted with honest critiques.

If this is the case, what are the other options?

SELF-ACCEPTANCE

What was much more important than self-esteem was self-awareness, self-motivation and self-acceptance.

What’s the importance of self-acceptance?

Things don’t always go smoothly when we step out of our comfort zone.

Mistakes and slip ups will happen.

That is pretty much a given in life and if your mindset is fixed, you will easily turn it into something being wrong with you.

In a growth way of thinking, you accept that a crucial part of learning is making mistakes.

Our minds don’t usually agree with this when the mistakes really do happen.

Being hard on yourself seems to be default setting of the mind.

DOES IT WORK WHEN YOU BEAT YOURSELF UP?

self esteem and confidenceIt is a total waste of time to beat up yourself when you “fail”.

It makes it impossible to learn or grow from the “failure” and it also sucks the life out of you.

Self-acceptance is a much more empowering response, this means you are not harshly judging yourself.

ANALYZE YOUR REACTIONS

basketballshooterWhen things don’t go your way or as planned, it is important to analyze your reactions.

Look back the actions you took and what your results were.

Ask yourself, “Are my actions resulting in a rich and happy life?” when you reflect on your results.

For instance:

Evaluating your actions: “When I was preoccupied with worrying about the shot and was focused, I took a bad shot that missed.”

Judging yourself: “I‘m a bad basketball player.”

RELEASING SELF-JUDGMENT

Self-acceptance means you free yourself of judgement it does NOT mean you don’t look at your behavior or how your behavior affects others.

This is tough to change because it was probably ingrained in you from your childhood days. However there are ways release yourself from self-judgement.

HOW TO RELEASE YOURSELF FROM SELF-JUDGEMENT

When your thoughts are hinting at the ways you are lacking, recognize it and call it JUDGMENT.

Even when your thoughts is are saying how fantastic you really are label it JUDGMENT.

You need not cling tightly to the good or harmful self-judgment, just release them all.

You can even get carefree with your identifying.

For instance, any time you observe good self-judgment, you might playfully tell yourself, “That’s a great compliment. Thank you mind!”

Then when you observe a harmful thought, you might say, “The ‘I’m not worthy story. Thank you mind!”

IT’S ONLY A STORY

If your mind gives you a glowing compliment or harsh criticism, the words are just words.

The choice is yours if those words are beneficial and result in a happier more fulfilled life.

You will likely see your self-judgements change daily or even by the minute…..

I’m a great mom or I’m a bad mom

I’m an awesome coach or I suck as a coach.

I’m definitely a winner or I’m such a loser.

I’m successful or I’m unsuccessful.

Remember the words are only a story.

WHAT’S MOST IMPORTANT

The most important things in life are your actions, what you believe in and your behavior.

These matter more than the stories you tell yourself.

What do you want people saying at your funeral?

“I really admired what a great friend he was, always there to support and encourage me” or “I really admired the high opinion he had of himself.”

Margaret Fontey once stated that, “One important thing I have learned is the difference between taking one’s work seriously and taking one’s self seriously. The first is imperative and the second is disastrous.”

QUICK TO JUDGE

low self esteemDo you judge others too quickly?

Attach the loser, failure or quitter labels to them?

You have to let go of judging others too harshly if you want to do the same to yourself.

Life becomes much simpler once you understand that no one is a failure, quitter or a loser. They are all human and like you they might quit, lose or fail sometimes.

The same is true for people who are successes, champions or winners.

Again like you they are all human like you and they are winners or successful in different parts of their lives.

You might be thinking, “Other people are more successful than me or I fail more compared to other people.”

Ask yourself this question, “By holding on to these thoughts, are they helping me to become who I want or to do the things I want to do?”

AFFIRMATIONS

“I accept myself completely.”

This is not the same as saying positive affirmations over and over.

The research into self-esteem found that people who have low self esteem often felt worse after making self-acceptance affirmations.

It reinforced all the things they really couldn’t just accept about themselves.

PERFECTIONISM

Perfectionism is when you use your thoughts to bully yourself, thoughts like…

“I must be perfect. No space for mistakes. Why even try if I can’t do a perfect job?”

If you let yourself get pushed around by those thoughts, you will never try new things and will most likely be stressed constantly.

You are constantly disappointed in yourself, because there is no way to live up to your extremely high standards.

Your past failures are on a constant thought loop.

You have to go back to the question again, are these thoughts pulling you away from the life you really want to live?

You choose your thoughts.

You can recognise them, label them and change or neutralize them.

HOW TO CHANGE

Do you want help identifying, naming and neutralizing your thought patterns?

Let us help you to get some clarity and find out what’s holding you back.

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How To Overcome A Fear Of Change

Do You Have A Fear Of Change?

fear of change at workPeople often talk about being stressed out, but they rarely discuss their fears.

People are usually fearful about…

Money issues.

Problems in their personal relationships.

Health concerns.

Having the self esteem to go after a dream, passion or talent.

Change Brings Endings

Any kind of change or transition can be scary, even for those things we want.

It is scary, because something has to end for the change to take place.

In order to become the person that we want to be, we have to learn how to let go.

Is The Universe Hostile?

Sometimes change is forced upon us and it isn’t done by choice.

We can develop feelings that the universe is a hostile place.

If something bad takes place, we start believing that the Universe coming after us.

As a result we feel hurt and we are not to blame. What did you do to deserve this?

A Victim’s Pitfalls

Getting into victim mode is fairly easy.

Upon hearing bad news like…

Our financial advisor letting us know we lost money.

We lost a lover.

We get life changing news from our doctor.

We get canned or downsized.

We become upset or exasperated or even engulfed by sorrow or anger after which we condemn the universe or other people or in many cases ourselves.

Life Sometimes Feels Unfair

If we have a victim mentality, life often seems daunting and unjust.

how to overcome a fear of change We certainly don’t like feeling doubt or to feel uncomfortable or tossed aside.

We never like the feeling of loss.

It is very easy to be caught up in our own victim story.

The blame game begins and our bad luck is the fault of other people, bad genes or our bad childhood and parents.

The Choice Is Ours

The fact is the choice is always ours.

Our thoughts determine if anything is good or bad, that brings about our pain.

Once we respond to what happens to us as being negative, then we get caught up in the victim mode.

Change Your View Of The World

fear of change anxietyI challenge you to change how you see the world.

To begin developing feelings of empowerment.

We might not have a choice as to what happens to us, but we definitely have a choice in how we respond.

Free will exists and we can choose to be brave in our response.

Tragedy Brings Change

Tragedies in many cases are the trigger that transforms us.

Responding from a power position, regardless of whatever is going on, we build up toughness and self confidence.

We are able to put an end to judging anything as good or bad and alternatively make up your mind that anything that occurs exists for our development and knowledge.

Is This A Purposeful World?

If you think this is a purposeful world, then the way we respond to tragedy is a choice.

If you believe you have a co-creating role in what happens in your life, then we can flip the victim story on its head.

However in order to do this, we need to give up blaming and complaining.

Secondary Gains

People often use their victim story in an effort to get sympathy or as an excuse not to pursue their dreams.

Some secondary gains are derived from being immersed in their victim story.

fear of change causesThey get attention from others, they get to feel wronged and of course there is the feelings of self righteous indignation.

But when we give up or victim story, we now have the power to choose.

We can write our own story!

Your New Story

Getting rid of the victim story allows us to be empowered to write our own better story…

Mistakes aren’t the end of the world and I can learn from them.

I am strong enough to handle any situation.

I will heal.

I can move on by letting go.

I will find the love of my life.

Earning more money is no problem.

I bound back stronger every time.

As we let go of the victim story, good things will magically flow into our lives.

Our desires are the path to our happiness.

We are bothered by the natural ups and downs of life if we reach for something that we didn’t get or if we fear losing something or someone when we hold on to the victim story.

Believing that there is a purpose for you and your life and that you will always grow from any circumstance is freeing and joyful.

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Why Do I Procrastinate So Much?

Why Do I Procrastinate So Much?

Solving The Procrastination PuzzleI recently read the book, Solving The Procrastination Puzzle by Timothy A. Pychyl and wanted to share some of the tips I learned…

Just Get Started vs Just Do It

Quit telling yourself there is something wrong with you if you procrastinate.

That is part of being human – we all procrastinate.

If you think you have to finish something right away, you will put off starting it.

Why do I procrastinate important thingsBy just getting started, it helps you feel good right now because you are doing something and then you typically will find momentum once you start.

You just need to just practice just getting started.

Just like in mediation –  your mind wanders and then you bring it back.

If…Then

You need to figure out your “Implementation Intentions.”

You need a strategy in place to help you deal with the inevitable challenges of getting things done.  

What do you do when you start to procrastinate?  Do you say things like,

“I’ll get going on this tomorrow..”  

You need to decide in advance what you will do.  

If that happens…then I will do this…

Why do I procrastinate all the time To preserve your limited willpower it helps to make a pre-decision or pre-commitment in advance.

Remember the story of Odysseus and the Sirens?

He pre-committed by having himself strapped to the mast of this boat so you would not be tempted by the Sirens.

Only 1 Minute

Myth this will only take a minute…I’m just going to check my email for a minute or Facebook.

It is a slippery slope.  One minute can end up taking hours.

Time Saving Tip: If a task or project will take less than 2 minutes – just do it.

But if you are working on big project and you feel that little distraction come up.. have your strategy ready.

For instance, when you are writing you turn off your email or FB notifications.

Multitasking

When you are multitasking, studies prove you are not as productive.

So the ability to multitask is a myth.  

Why do I procrastinate things I want to doYou are literally wasting time and energy by not being connected to what you are doing.

For instance studies have found:

Texting while driving is 6X as dangerous as driving while being intoxicated.

Remove the distractions – unplug WiFi and turn off notifications.

Expect To Stumble

No one is perfect.

Why do I always procrastinateExpect to take 2 steps backwards before you can take 1 step forward. 

That is just how it works – we are all human.

You need to have high standards for yourself, but it is equally important to also have empathy and forgive yourself.

High levels of self forgiveness is correlated less procrastination and high levels of getting stuff done.

All you need to do is just keep showing up again and again.

So if you want to procrastinate more – then beat yourself up more.

If you want to reduce procrastination, forgive yourself more.

Need Help?

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How A Person’s Ideals and Beliefs Can Steal Their Dreams

How A Person’s Ideals and Beliefs Can Steal Their Dreams

What Are Dream Stealers?

I consistently ask individuals what they truly want out of life and encourage them to reveal the hopes and dreams they might go after if money and time were not a problem.

beliefs and principlesIt might be establishing a small business, taking a trip around the world, getting the ideal partner or relaxing on a overseas beach.

What will appear here and as a result – where the potential for our dreams lay waiting – is a understated kind of panic.

This might seem strange, however I have witnessed this taking place repeatedly…. someone conveys their fantasy and within just a few moments they quickly contract slightly or the passion drips from their face.

I Want, But..

Someone tries to take hold of an imagined bigger lifestyle and then instantly contracts.

This contracting or drawing back reaction is so prevalent I refer to it as the “I Want, But” disorder.

a person's ideals and overall viewpointFor example, you might state I would like to purchase a home.

When you communicate your wish, you have a feeling of exhilaration and energy since you tapped into your desire.

This next sets off a stream of viral values that obstruct you from enjoying that want.

That pull of resistance leads to a decrease in self-confidence which is connected to emotions of dread and resignation.

You weren’t even aware of this – it simply happens.

You begin considering the “buts.”

This is all the explanation why you are unable to pursue your dream.

The dream stealer, just like a pop-up offer, pops up in your thoughts without invitation.

It is kept in place by those viral thoughts that drown your enthusiasm by creating justifications, uncertainties and “what-ifs.”

Whenever this occurs, your constructive energy is depleted and the viral mindset is bolstered.

Rather than ending the belief, you provide it with additional power over your own life.

Listed below are a few typical situations:

I want to publish a novel, but nobody is going to read it/it’s too time consuming.

I want to be a pop star, but I’m not skilled enough/I’m too late to switch professions.

I want to make lots of money, but it is destructive/egocentric to desire it/I’m bad with finances.

I want to fall in love, but I’m scared of getting hurt/I’m not desirable enough.

I want to launch a small business, but it’s too uncertain/there’s a lot of rivalry.

Cellular Memory

Did any of you get a shock of recognition from looking at some of those thoughts?

viewpoints about the worldBiologist Bruce Lipton uncovered cellular memory.

Our thoughts, behavior, passions and memories are saved in every cell in our body, not only our brain.

They are activated into mindful memory under various high stressed situations and then subconsciously hold you back.

Desires and Beliefs

Think about your own desires and beliefs…

What occurs after you dream something you want to enjoy in your everyday life?

Do you do it or do you overlook it and look for lame excuses why you can’t produce it?

What number of objectives or dreams did you abandoned or not gone through with?

Do you realize of a voice or feeling in your body preventing you from having faith you can actually have your dream or doing something?

What do you suppose could be the root of this stalling or lack of action?

It is not practical to act upon each idea you get, but think about the one or two significant goals or desires you might have been postponing.

How might your life transform if you stop postponing those hopes and dreams?

Let’s find out!  Click the graphic below to set up a complimentary clarity session.

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Ways To Get Rid Of Damaging Beliefs

What Exactly Are Damaging Beliefs?

How Do Your Negative Self Beliefs Affect You?James Allen author of As A Man Thinketh said, “Belief always precedes action.”

We all live and function from a complicated list of beliefs that define us along with the environment we inhabit.

The dictionary meaning of belief is the acknowledgment of your thoughts that a certain thing is genuine or right.

Therefore the things you believe to be real will impact the way you look at and encounter the environment.

As a result we seldom question our beliefs.

Provided that your beliefs proceed unchallenged, they are going to keep shaping your views and guide your behavior at the subconscious level.

Luckily, each instance carries the possibility to escape the trance a subconscious belief might have on you.

Beliefs are able to:

• impact your views
• specify on your behalf what appears good, bad, right, genuine and achievable
• skew your opinion in constructive or destructive ways
• control or restrict the steps you take
• form your personality
• impact your connections with others
• establish a path you will adhere to
• define your overall health
• increase or decrease your satisfaction levels
• enhance or reduce your enthusiasm

Because your beliefs establish, not just if, but the way you do something, constructive beliefs probably will result in behavior and ways of thinking that draw in favorable results

Similarly, destructive beliefs promote ways of thinking and behavior – or lack of action – that go against your wishes and objectives.

This is the reason countless people’s desires never get fulfilled.

The reality is that we regularly don’t challenge our negative beliefs and just embrace them as exactly as they are, causes them to be especially toxic.

Similar to a virus they interfere with and sicken the entire body.

They often lie inactive until an external event activates them such as a problem or failure.

The best part is regardless of what occurred in your past, your future is not pre-programmed.

The lifestyle you really want is close by once you fine-tune your belief process.

How Are Beliefs Formed?

ways to modify a negative beliefAlmost all beliefs are passed down from your family, neighborhood and society.

You are programmed by beliefs, attitudes and means of explaining reality that performed for people who preceded you.

The nice thing is the fact that your predecessors made it through.

The problem is, they might have done so using incorrect perspectives.

Irrespective of their legitimacy, such beliefs are installed into you in your childhood before you can fully grasp or question them.

You did not actually create them and they are not distinct to you; however they do form how you experience your own self and be aware of “the way life is.”

For instance “The USA is the greatest country on earth.” or “You are going to hell for your sins.”

How We Create Beliefs

Additionally you shape beliefs caused by distressing incidents which have high emotional effects and consequently are tough to completely sense and discharge back then.

The raw feeling continues within the body as stress and anxiety, energy obstructions and physical tension.

Because of this, past stress becomes superimposed on the present which is subconsciously re-experienced repeatedly.

Destructive thinking about selfFor instance if a coach embarrassed you in front of the squad by screaming, “You’re useless!”

You definitely might develop the perception, “I’m not beneficial to the squad.”

As a grownup, you might then have a problem expressing thoughts to a committee or group at work.

Once you confront related issues in the future, the belief gets active and determines the way we think, feel and act.

Paper Tigers

In the Chinese culture, a paper tiger signifies something that seems incredibly strong, however in actuality is nothing to be scared of.

harmful personal beliefYour viral beliefs are similar to paper tigers – they really are illusionary.

If you think it is true, you might be afraid and beat a retreat.

Your system is going to take action with chemicals that scream DANGER.

Your viral beliefs can result in fear if they remain unexamined and unchallenged.

You might feel a certain situation is stopping you from getting your goals, when it is actually a paper tiger. It does not have any bite, except if you think it has teeth.

A client of mine, Mindy presumed and lived like her thoughts were not significant.

Consequently, she was silent and had problems being a part of discussions and participating at her job.

harmful primary beliefShe was unhappy and lonely simply because she believed that no one really got to understand her.

In our visits, she exposed the origin of this perception.

Her older sibling got all the attention to and she believed she has long been overlooked.

As a kid and being impressionable, she created the mindset, the things I have to express can’t be valuable.

This belief stayed with her into adulthood and established subconscious habitual tendencies that verified and bolstered her belief.

Just like when she requested a co-worker’s opinion once they were hurrying through the door to a meeting or began an in depth conversation with her partner when he was almost sleeping.

Our beliefs are hidden so deep in our subconscious minds that we might not actually be aware of their existence. We embrace their truth without knowing the restrictions they inflict.

They are a well-known component of our operating system that we overlook.

They might be dormant for a long time and unexpectedly surface if triggered by a traumatic scenario or incident.

You Are Not Destined To Fail

This is crucial…having viral ideals does not guarantee you will get a predestined fate.

With the appropriate help, you can sliced through your fantasy of your paper tiger and generate beliefs that work for you.

Learn how by setting up a complimentary clarity session by clicking the graphic below…

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Why Hypnosis and Life Coaching?

Why Hypnosis and Life Coaching?

You may have wondered, if you have already done hypnosis to get rid of some of your mental blocks and limiting beliefs, what the benefit is of life coaching.

Hypnosis the quickest way to get rid of what is holding you back and life coaching helps you figure out how to move forward.

Here are several scenarios of when life coaching is helpful…

  1. I hate my job. How can I escape it and be courageous enough to pursue the thing I have passion for?

If you are feeling “stuck” between where you are now and where you ultimately ant to be, the best thing to do is to step back and understand you might be still in a learning phase.

hypnosis and life coaching helpWhen building that bridge, you need to set up yourself for long term success…

If your job is paying the bills until you find your passion, learn to appreciate your job more.

Look at your job as maybe funding your passion.

Additionally, understand that there’s timing to all things; it might seem you ought to be in a new position and new lifestyle today, however the universe’s plans are bigger than yours.

Have faith in the process and recognize that each day you are getting closer to your path and doing more of the things you love.

Continue to follow your heart and understand you are exactly where you should be.

  1.  I did all I was supposed to do. I got the degree, the job, the wife/husband so why am I feeling empty inside and unsatisfied?

I really though this is what I wanted.

The important word in this question is “supposed”.

When we do things that other people think we ought to do or maybe “supposed” to do, we will ultimately feel empty inside.

How can hypnosis and life coaching bring me relief?We are looking for happiness outside ourselves while attempting to fit into our environment.

I discovered from working in a high pressure corporate world that attempting to satisfy someone else’s demands could leave you fatigued and disheartened.

The important thing is to understand that whatever you’ve done in life so far has primed you to be who you are actually meant to be.

Rather than complaining about the past or feeling that it held you back from where you “ should be,” know that the empty feeling disappears once we go inside for our happiness rather than trying to find happiness outside yourself.

  1. I’m divorced and also without a partner, and when I see engagement ads, wedding photos, and additional professions of love, I get very irritated. 

Exactly how can I convert this into a more constructive thought?

Once we observe other people feeling delight and we feel upset, it’s because they actually have a certain thing we desire but that we think we “can’t possess.”

One technique to draw love into your daily life would be to say to yourself whenever you observe other people happy and in love..

 “That’s coming to me. The universe is revealing to me what is conceivable for me!”

Rather than resenting other showings love, appreciate them and become part of their happiness!

  1. Whenever I start something new I’m always excited, but eventually I give up. Is there a way that I can force myself to follow through?

life coaching helps you move forward in your lifeIf you have to force yourself to do something that feels like a chore, it will never work in the long run.

Try to figure out “why” you began doing it to start with.

Try to find the passion again.

We often give up too fast, or simply don’t follow through, because you didn’t remember why we began in the first place and this allows doubt and procrastination to creep in.

Maybe we give up because it is too difficult to accomplish or perhaps it takes too much time.

To overcome this, set smaller tangible goals which will help you reach your ultimate goal.

Do a minimum of one thing daily that you would be thankful for in the future.

  1. Is there a way to get lost passion back?

Much of the anxiety you are experiencing now is linked to a future that’s unknown.

This might stop you from connecting with your joy and finding your passion.

The intention should be to open enough to discover more about you and go with the nudges.

get rid of your limiting beliefs using hypnosisYour heart will guide you on what you should try or do. Try to be present as you do this and it is fine if you don’t know everything.

It will all fall into place when the time is right. Enjoy the process and you can take comfort in knowing that every day you are uncovering more about yourself.

Setting goals will help you create a life you love. Don’t make it about having more or being better.

What is the vision of your ideal life? In order to get there start setting your goals.

Need Help Mapping Out Your Future?

Need help on setting goals and following through?  Click the graphic below to set up a complimentary clarity session.

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How To Get Anxiety Relief

How To Get Anxiety Relief

Do you wake up in the morning instantly feeling anxious?

That’s definitely not a good thing!

Anxiety Is A Habit

Anxiety can quickly turn into a habit.

how to get anxiety reliefYou might be actually reinforcing it again and again inadvertently, until you have it down pat.

It is very similar to getting up in the morning and brushing your hair.

You don’t give it much thought; it’s a habit so you just do it.

Therefore when you get up anxious, it is habit forming and it becomes your default way of operating.

Be assured that this isn’t a conscious decision on your part.

It might seem that it just suddenly appeared.

It isn’t comfortable but has somehow become familiar.

Your Suitcase

If you are constantly anxious, it will always control you.

But…

get anxiety reliefLike a suitcase, it can be something you can choose to carry.

You are able to breathe.

You are still functional.

You can become consciously aware of your thoughts and notice…

That was just an anxious thought.

And understand, if anyone is having these thoughts, they will feel anxious.

How To Start Taking Control

Once you take control, anxiety cannot have power over you.

“I’m just choosing to carry this heavy suitcase for now.”

Being anxious is not who you are as a person. You are just choosing to carry it for now and that’s okay.

Once you control it, you are responsible for it. Then you understand that it something your thoughts created.

Our Thoughts Lead To Feelings

how can I get anxiety reliefOur thoughts lead to emotions.

Positive thoughts lead to good feeling emotions and likewise negative thoughts will lead to feeling negative emotions.

Our thoughts often run wild and will create these emotions.

Begin by accepting that there are many emotions you will go through.

Once you don’t get surprised or are afraid of it, you can embrace any emotion, even anxiety.

“Oh you are here, that’s just fine.”

Treat Anxiety Like One Of Your Super Powers

anxiety relief strategiesWhat if you treated your anxiety like a super power?

It appears to get your attention.

“My body is tingling and it is trying to tell me or show me something.”

Don’t run away from these feelings, pay attention to them.

It is when you try to run away that it can turn into a panic attack.

See The Red Flags

The red flag that is anxiety is seeking your attention.

It’s saying, “Look at me! Something is happening…”

Do you need to refocus on something you said or did?

Did I do something that was out of alignment for me?

Is this something I keep repeating?

Diverting From Your Real Emotions

If you are afraid, nervous or concerned about an issue, we instantly think, “I’m just feeling anxious.”

Then we are distracted away from what we are actually nervous or scared about.

Eventually you will teach yourself, friends and family that you are simply an anxious person.

What Exactly Are You Concerned About?

“I’m very nervous about this upcoming thing.”

You can put the blame on….

I’m a naturally anxious person.

I worry too much.

That’s just who I am.How do I get anxiety relief

I have no control over it.

Anxious feelings lets you disconnect from the fear and numb your feelings when in reality you are scared.

“I hate public speaking.”

Feel The Fear Anyway

As an alternative you could…..

“This upcoming event has me scared.”

“I will just let my body feel the fear, come to grips with what is upcoming and just do it anyway.”

Anxiety Is A Problem When…

We begin to identify with the anxiety and we believe…

I’m just naturally anxious and there is nothing I can do about it.

I have no options; this is simply the way it is.

I have to live my life this way, feeling that pit in my tummy, shallow breathing and not being fully aware.

Anxiety Isn’t A Problem

In reality anxiety is simply a survival mechanism that maintains our safety and keeps us out of harm’s way.

We all feel this emotion and we should expect to feel this way at times.

Similar to…

anxiety reliefYou will feel sad.

You will feel happy.

You will get angry.

And you will get anxious and that’s just fine.

Therefore when you expect it, you can better deal with it.

The Process

By carrying out this process, you can stop your battle with anxiety and begin understanding yourself in a new way…

1. Your thoughts are very powerful, so begin by pinpointing your thoughts.

2. What is the story you have been repeating to yourself about your life?

3. Identify how you have been practicing anxiety. That way you can understand why you have been getting up anxious every morning.

4. Understand what you have control over in your life and what you don’t have control of.

5. What presence do you have in your daily life – walking into a room, when you are with friends and family, at school or the office?

6. What are your goals and intentions?

Get Clear

Click the image below to book a complimentary clarity session so I can help you with personalized strategies to get anxiety relief.

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